News Update – October 29

Hey, my kinky, polyam peeps! First off, happy National Cat Day! It’s a National Holiday here in the Bratty Cat household so let’s show our four-legged friends a little bit of love! We’ve got two great articles for you today, so let’s get moving:

It’s a common misconception that if you’re in a relationship with a polyamorous person, you must be polyam yourself. The truth is, there’s plenty of monogamous people who have polyam partners. Refinery29 talks about how to discuss ethical nonmonogamy with a partner who doesn’t necessarily want to be nonmonogamous themselves.

“Monogamy and non-monogamy aren’t binary — we all fall somewhere along a spectrum. Perhaps your needs while together in the same city or state may differ greatly when one of you is travelling, or maybe your needs for romantic intimacy with others are different from your needs for sexual intimacy. Think of all your desires as they fit into different scenarios, and don’t limit yourself to just thinking about penetrative sex.”

Second comes a piece from NPR’s 1A. As a masochist myself, I often wonder why I seek out pain for the sake of pleasure. Leigh Cowart, author of “Hurts So Good: The Science and Culture of Pain on Purpose” sheds light on why we choose to intentionally inflict hurt on ourselves.

“At its core, masochism is about choosing pain on purpose, for a reason. And often, in my experience, that reason is to feel bad to feel better. I believe that this phenomenon — the engineering of situations in which one suffers in order to secure guaranteed relief — is worthy of a tender, hilarious, heartfelt-examination.”

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