“Say you don’t need no diamond ring and I’ll be satisfied
Tell me that you want the kind of things that money just can’t buy
I don’t care too much for money
Money can’t buy me love”
–The Beatles, “Money Can’t Buy Me Love”
Hey, my kinky, polyam peeps! It is an AMAZING week here at the Bratty Cat. This week our shadow ban from Facebook is FINALLY being lifted! Thanks so much for everyone who stuck with us through this hard time. Come Tuesday at 11 a.m., Eastern time, we are back with a vengeance!
So, Panda and I will be taking our annual vacation to Florida next week with her “ridiculously large family” (12 people in all, which is actually down from 15 last year), so we’re gonna take it light with a little bit of a “fluff piece”. The great thing about BDSM is that it’s exactly what you make of it. There are no hard and fast guidelines outside of what you and your partner decide should be part of your dynamic. That includes whatever props and toys you and your partner want to incorporate.
For those that are new to BDSM, it can be quite overwhelming. There’s a lot of “bells and whistles” that one can incorporate if they so choose. All of this can seem quite dazzling, and a common mistake newbies make is to immediately run out and “buy all the things”. This is a mistake that I made personally when I embraced my submission. I went out and spent way too much money on things that I might have wanted, but wasn’t even sure about yet. The problem with this approach is two-fold: First, and most obvious, it’s expensive. Toys can run from basic to high-end and some of the more extravagant ones can cost a pretty penny. Naturally, not everyone has that kind of money to spend. Second, how do you even know if you’re going to like, or even use the thing you bought? BDSM, particularly for newbies, includes a lot of exploration. Just like my mother rented my first alto saxophone for me rather than buying one because she wanted to make sure I was really committed, it doesn’t make any sense to dump a boat load of cash on something unless you know you’re gonna get some use out of it.
So today we’re gonna talk about how we can explore BDSM with those common things we find around the house, a.k.a “pervertibles”. For the uninitiated, a pervertible is anything that has been “perverted” for something other than it’s intended use. In the BDSM community, it’s those things that we can simply grab from a vanilla setting and use them in a BDSM dynamic. It’s a great way for newbies to try out new things without the financial commitment, not to mention spur some innovation for new ideas.
As always, before we get started, let’s do the resource dump:
For this post, I’ll be pulling material from this blog post from Fetish.com, this post from Kink Weekly, and this article from Kinkly.
So, building your own BDSM toy chest out of ordinary household items isn’t nearly as difficult as one might think. I will say, some kinks are easier to accommodate than others. In my experience, if you’re into impact or sensation play, BDSM on a budget is a cinch: Find somthing with an appealing texture and/or you can hit someone with. That’s it. I mean, when you think about it, almost anything can be turned into a paddle. If you’re like me and your kinky is more “pointy and stabby” rather than “thuddy”, options become only slightly more difficult to find.
Starting with the “thuddy” options, one need only look around either your kitchen, garage, or basement to find something you can turn into a naughty bedroom toy. Rolling pins, spatulas, cutting boards, hairbrushes, paint stirrers, even sanded pieces of wood left over from that home-improvement project can make for an excellent disciplinary tool for your submissive. Things like washcloths, brillo pads, potholders, and bath mats can each provide a unique texture for those looking for sensation play. For those on “Team stabby”, anything sharp and pointy should do the trick. This includes knives, forks, cheese graters, and one of the tools I have a love/hate relationship with, pork shredders. Penguin likes to slash those things across my back, at which point I promptly curse at her and ask for more.
Beyond merely impact and sensation play, there’s lots of useful items you can find around your house to dress up your own homemade dungeon if you so choose. Silk scarfs or neckties make for great restraints or blindfolds. Rope is one of those all-purpose tools that is highly versatile, and if you’re caught with it in your house, can easily be explained away. Same goes with chains if that’s your kink. If you consider yourself a handy-person, or simply someone who watches a lot of Chip and Joanna Gaines, put your craftsman skills to the test with some wood, nails, and screws and see if you can’t build yourself your own St. Andrew’s Cross, or maybe fashion the end of the bed into a set of stocks for your submissive.
As far as where to find your new toys, any trip to your local dollar store or home improvement store should do. Yard sales and second-hand stores are also a great place to pick up curious little knick-knacks that you can twist to your kinky desires. The beauty of BDSM on a Budget is the “Budget” part. None of the things I’ve listed will break the bank. A 36-pack of extra-large binder clips will run you $9.99. For fifty cents you’ve got yourself a pair of nipple clamps, and if they break, so what? There’s seventeen more pairs in the box.
As I stated earlier in this entry, the worst thing you can do is to invest a significant portion of your bank account into high-end toys that you may never use. While there is something to be said for quality, and believe me, sex toys are one of the few goods where more expensive usually means better, don’t jump into that pool just yet. A good leather belt and handkerchief will work just fine for beginners, and this way you know it’s something you enjoy before putting down some of your hard-earned cash.
Until next time, stay kinky, my friends…
–The Bratty Cat
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