News Update – September 14

Hey, my kinky polyam peeps! ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL??? I know, I’m a bit of a sports nerd and I’m learning most of my readers aren’t, but you know what? We should never make someone feel embarrassed for those litte things that make them happy, so…


We’ve got two great polyam-related articles for you this week, so without further adieu, let’s get to the news!

First, from Buzz Feed News, comes a discussion on polyamory and gender, particularly why women and femme-presenting folx in particular tend to be drawn to the community. I found this article very serendipitous because I was literally having a discussion with Vixen about this matter the day before I came across this article, and I may eventually flesh it out into a blog post. It’s said that men coax women into ethical nonmonogamy and women keep men in ethical nonmonogamy, and Buzz Feed investigates what it is about polyamory that women and femme-presenting folx find so appealing.

“The replies highlighted the myriad reasons why people turn to ethical nonmonogamy: incompatible libido levels, maintaining a queer identity in relational forms that are often not queer-friendly, emotional enrichment, and deeper self-knowledge. It became clear that ethical nonmonogamy isn’t just about sex and romance, but about fundamentally reconsidering the way people relate to and exist in relationships.”

Second, from the veritable fountain of information that is Cosmopolitan (I know that sounds sarcastic, and they really do provide me with a TON of good articles) is a discussion on why “gifting a threesome” may be problematic. I mentioned in a conversation with the polycule the other day that the “problem” with being progressive is that, because you are constantly striving for self-improvement, you’re going to look back on parts of your life and feel shame for attitudes and beliefs that you once held. To be a better person tomorrow, that means by default, you had to be a less enlightened person yesterday, relatively speaking. As someone who was gifted a threesome of their thirtieth birthday MANY moons ago, this article put me back on my heels as it made me confront some attitudes I once had about sex and ethical nonmonogamy. The good news is that, with nearly everything in life, there’s a “right” way and a “wrong” way to do things, and gifting a threesome isn’t inherently bad as long as you approach it in a way that isn’t problematic.

That’s it for this week’s news. I am SUPER excited about my upcoming piece on mono-polyam relationships, so if you’re a monogamous person who’s interested in polyam, or perhaps a polyamorous person who’s interested in someone who’s mongoamous, make sure to check that one out as I have several interviews that I conducted with friends in the community featured in that piece.

Until next time, stay kinky, my friends…

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