Happy Holidays, my Kinky, Polyam Peeps!!!
I hope everyone is taking some well-deserved time off as we wrap up the end of the year. If that means spending time with friends and/or family, I’m happy for you. I also know that the Holidays can be a difficult time for others, so for those readers who need some support, I got you, fam.
It’s a quiet last day before a long weekend, so while Panda and I enjoy our favorite True Crime podcasts, here’s this week’s news:
First off, from The Land Down Under comes news that I never thought I would live to see happen. Even as I write this, I’m in disbelief.
The Bachelor. Has a Polyam. Contestant.
You didn’t misread that. ABC’s “The Bachelor”, that show that perpetuates and glorifies all the negative stereotypes of monogamous, cisheteronormative culture, has cast a polyamorous woman as a contestant on the upcoming season of the show’s Australian version.
While I appreciate trashy Reality TV as much as the next person (probably more so), dating shows, particularly those like “The Bachelor” really rub me the wrong way. It’s all good fun if you recognize that the show is scripted and not to be taken seriously, and I believe those that watch “The Bachelor” do see the show for what it is, which is an overdramatization of human relationships. With that said, I also think there’s a danger in promoting and reinforcing toxically monogamous behaviors, such as jealousy as an indicator of love and romance as a competition in we treat people as a prize to be won. Hopefully the casting of Ms. Nevin (the polyam contestant on the show) will make way in dispelling some of these stereotypes. The best part of all of this: Ms. Nevin’s boyfriend drove her to the filming location.
“Jess is polyamorous. So she’s got a boyfriend at home. They’re in an open relationship and he knew she was going on the show. He was OK with it. She told everyone about it. She wasn’t hiding it at all,” the insider said. They added: “The girls were all confused about it and had no idea what a polyamorous relationship was or how it worked.”
Second, from across the pond in Wales is a piece about a recent study on consensually nonmonogamous individuals published in The Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. The study shows that CNM individuals experience a heightened level of stress and anxiety due to social stigma, similar to the stigma experienced by the LGBTQ+ community. While I believe there is a mountain of privilege that separates myself as a polyam person and my queer brethren, I will also say that, while the stigma I experience isn’t nearly as intense, it’s nice that someone recognizes that it does exist.
“Previous research has found that people with marginalised identities, for example LGBTQ individuals, experience stigma in a variety of unique ways. We found a similar pattern for people in consensually non-monogamous relationships.”
That wraps it up for this week. We’ve got wind chill temperatures below zero outside, so I’m going to wrap myself up in my favorite onesie and a pile of blankets while Panda heats me up some of her patented hot chocolate.
Until next time, stay kinky, my friends…
–The Bratty Cat