Hello again, my Kinky, Polyam peeps! I’m back from my summer vacation in Florida and let me say the state is still as terrible as ever. A canceled flight, a last minute hotel stay, a broken luggage carousel, and a burnt foot all make me think “If the state tried to secede, would there be a second Civil War, or would we just say ‘It’s fine. Vaya con Dios and best of luck to you…'”
Anyway, while I put some more aloe on on my arch and wrap it up with a cloth bandage, here’s this week’s news…
First, from Insider.com comes a discussion about the cultural differences in cuckolding. For those wo are unaware, cuckolding is the act in which one partner (typically a man) will watch as their partner (typically a woman) engages in sexual activity with another individual (typically a man). It’s seen as a way of “emasculating” the male partner, and given the priority that the United States puts on masculinity and the Patriarchy, it doesn’t seem that unusual that our male-centric culture sees it as something that people would be ashamed to talk about. I always find it fascinating what is considered “taboo” among different social groups, and it’s interesting how gender roles can drive that discussion.
“When it comes to cuckolding, it flies in the face of the male-centered and monogamous American cultural norms, Lehmiller said. So, a man sexually sharing his wife with another man through cuckolding often comes with a negative connotation in the US. For some, that forbidden feeling can be a major turn-on, Lehmiller explained.”
Second, from women.com is a primer in compersion. Like “Hierarchy”, I don’t think the polyam community will ever settle on a universal definition on what the word means, however I personally believe that even if you don’t feel it now, it’s something you should always strive for. If we define compersion as simply “Happy that someone else is happy”, why would we not want our lives to be filled with more joy rather than less?
“[Compersion is] that joy that has nothing to do with your joy,” relationship coach specializing in consensual non-monogamy Effy Blue told Mind Body Green. “It’s sympathetic joy or unselfish joy, where you are joyful for the other person for things that have nothing to do with you. You’re just happy for them because they’re in a good place, because they are experiencing joy, and you can sort of look at it from the outside and feel the same experience.”
That’s all for this week! Stay tuned for a great article on kink and chronic illness. By the amount of research I’ve put in, it should be VERY informative!
Until next time, stay kinky, my friends…
–The Bratty Cat